Using Emotional Abuse

• Putting the other down

• Making the other feel bad about themselves

• Calling the other names

• Making the other think they are crazy

• Playing mind games

• Humiliating the other

• Making the other feel guilty

Using Privileges

• Treating the other like a servant
• Making all the big decisions
• Acting like the master of the castle
• Being the one who determines the roles

Using Economic Abuse

• Preventing the other from getting or keeping a job

• Making the other ask for money

• Giving the other an allowance

• Taking the other’s money

• Not letting the other know about or have access to family income

Using Coercion and Threats

• Making or carrying out threats to do something to hurt the other

• Threatening to leave the other, to commit suicide, report the other to welfare

• Making the other drop charges

• Making the other do illegal things

Using Intimidation

• Making the other afraid by using looks, gestures, or actions

• Smashing things

• Abusing pets

• Displaying weapons

Using Children

• Making the other feel guilty about the children

• Using the children to relay messages

• Using visitation to harass the other

• Threatening to take the children away

Using Isolation

• Controlling what the other does, who they see and talk to, what’s read, and where they go

• Limiting their outside involvement

• Using jealousy to justify actions

Minimizing, Denying, Blaming

• Making light of the abuse and not taking the other’s concerns about it seriously

• Saying the abuse never happened

• Shifting responsibility for abusive behavior

• Saying the other caused it